Category Archives: Nonsense News

daily-o

Saif revealed reason why he chose Taimoor as a name for his child.


Recently a controversy broke and Social Media went ablaze over it. The controversy broke when “Saif Ali Khan” and “Kareena Kapoor Khan” named their son Taimoor.

daily-o

Apparently if we go deep down in the history Taimoor Lung was the man who killed Millions of Indians and demolished thousands of temples, Raped mammoth number of women, kidnapped Indian men and women and made them slave.

The right wingers and logical people are creating all gung-ho on the name, the couple chose for their son.

But when Saif was asked the reasons why he chose the name he said “Langda Tyagi” was my most acclaimed role on silver screen. I have won several awards for the role which even critiques liked.”

Saif further added, “If I go deep down in the history of Islam I could only find Taimoor Lung who was Langda. Taimoor was given name Lang only because he was langda. So I chose Taimoor as a name for him as I can’t name him LANG or LANGDA.”


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ani

Indian Navy ships seen in Bay of Bengal, TMC alleges Modi trying to invade Bengal via Sea


Faking News: http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/politics/indian-navy-ships-seen-bay-bengal-tmc-alleges-modi-trying-invade-bengal-via-sea-18471

A day after claiming that Modi is imposing emergency on Bengal, CM Mamata Banerjee has alleged that India is now trying to invade Bengal via sea. She made this statement after some ships of the Indian Navy were spotted in Bay of Bengal.

Mamata
Get out of Bay of Bengal

Earlier yesterday, TMC had alleged that Modi is imposing emergency and trying to overthrow the elected government in Bengal by using Indian Army. Army sources had clarified that it is a regular exercise they conduct every year but this explanation wasn’t accepted by Mamata Di and her party.

“We have been reliably informed that Indian ships are present in Bay of Bengal.  This is an assault on the federal structure of the country. When the bay is Bengal’s then that means only state government has jurisdiction there. How can Modi send the Navy there? Has he declared emergency? Is he planning to invade Bengal? He must realize that we are also ready for war”, Mamata Di said angrily.

“If Modi wants war then we are also fully prepared. If he is just trying to intimidate us so that we stop protesting against demonetization then he must know that we won’t get scared. I ask him to call back the Naval ships from Bay of Bengal as soon as possible as people are panicking right now amid the uncertainty”, she added.

Senior TMC leader Derek O’Brien also joined in and said,”There has never been an instance of a PM trying to invade one of the states of the country. I should know, I know every bit of trivia thanks to my job experience. Modi should call back his Navy else we will show him what Bengalis are made of.”

Soon after Mamata Di made the allegations, Faking News spoke to an Indian Navy spokesperson for a reaction to her statements, he said ,”Yaar…. Kya yaar… I am applying for voluntary retirement.”

(It is a part of nonsense news and has nothing to do with the reality.)


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ani

Was that Jija-Ji who made all those tweets on Rahul Gandhi’s twitter timeline?


Rahul Gandhi is trending on twitter and there could only be two possible reason for him to be in trend.

  1. He has given a speech and over his blooper everyone starts trolling him.
  2. Someone has hacked his account.

Yesterday, the later was true.

Now lets do a case study and try to come to the conclusion that who might be the reason behind those tweets.

Given the language used on RaGa twitter account after hacking, some things are very clear:

  1. It wasn’t done by RaGa. The language is too adult for him
  2. Can’t be Bhakts either. The sentences have western influence and do not end with ‘jai Hind’ or ‘Bharat mata ki jai’
  3. Can’t be aaptards as well. No reference to Modi anywhere.
    3b) Not the leftists either. They can’t string two words together without making one of them sound unintelligibly intellectual.
  4. Has to be someone who knew his password and has a personal grudge.
  5. Since the tweets mention looting the nation, it’s someone who’s a part of the inner circle.

Ergo, by the process of elimination (the logical way, not the Kerala Communist way), we can be pretty sure it’s the Pink Panther whose dreams of being the First Husband (the day is long past when he could be the male equivalent of the First Lady) have been thwarted by the continued existence of a lucky zygote.
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Ladies and gentlemen, the Vuttler did it. Robert Vuttler. 😀
(for proof, pls refer to Kejriwal’s Book of Political Conduct, Ch 4, Section 20, para 67 beginning with ‘Aloo’…)

Sreeram Ramakrishnan

(This is a nonsense news and doesn’t have any relevance with any dead or alive.)


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“Please Spare Us, Kejriwal”: Read the suicide note of this student.


Dear Kejriwal Ji.

I live at the front of your home at Bhagwan Das Road. The Peepal Tree at your front gate is my home. We have been living very happily as a family there from past so many years. But since the day you came at Bhagwan Das Road we are living a very dreadful life now.

My Father is doing Dangal with me every day and I just sing “Baapu Sehat Ke Liye Tu To Haanikaarak Hai.”

He always compares me with you. He doesn’t understand everyone has their unique points and limitations as well. He aspires me to be like you.

I have been trying my level best to imitate you but I fall flat every time.

Yesterday, When you said  “Anna Hazare is Beimaan” my father scolded me a lot. He said “why can’t you learn anything from him.”

You became his leader the day you sworn on the head of your children and broke the wow. In an elegant way you take u turns. You are so inspirational.

I came yesterday evening to meet you but you did not give me time.

Now, the pressure is mounting on me. My Father wants me to be like you and I know I can’t be even 1% of you.

I am committing suicide.

Image result for Kejriwal with chameleon

Thanking you.
Your Fan Girgit.

(This is a nonsense news. It has no relevance with any dead or alive. If it has then it is nothing but a coincidence.)


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cert

After Forbes its UNESCO declared Kejriwal the most powerful leader of the world.


Paris: In a major development that should silence critics of Kejriwal who have been blaming him for blame politics, UNESCO has declared that Kejriwal is the most loved and powerful leader of the world.

The United Nations body released a statement earlier today that revealed that UNESCO had partnered with International Peace Foundation six months back to study all political leaders of the world and find out who is the  most loved and powerful amongst all.

Arvind Kejriwal and Rahul Gandhi were the only Indian political leaders who made it to the list. UNESCO along with International Peace Foundation said made a list of 50 political leaders across the world.

“After six months of rigorous study and analysis, we have concluded that Arvind Kejriwal is the most Powerful political leader,” Robert McGee, head of comparative studies wing of International Peace Foundation declared in a press conference that was attended by UNESCO officials too.

When officials were asked about the blame games and appeasement politics that Kejriwal does. The officials said “In India if you are not doing appeasement politics then you are no less than a moron. In India politics means appeasement. While on blame game they said “It needs guts to blame a person whom he compares with “Hitler” and Speaking in front of even Shadow of Hitler needs Guts”.”

UNESCO released a certificate and given it to Arvind Kejriwal.

“Right Wing organizations along with Bhakts should stop maligning Arvind Kejriwal and AAP at least after this certificate from UNESCO” UNESCO Chief hoped.

When The Lot Pot asked the officials ” Why they chose Arvind Kejriwal over Rahul Gandhi?” then they said “It was a very stiff competition between Rahul Gandhi and Arvind Kejriwal. We discussed each and every point but Arvind won the competition when he tried holding the Hands of Mamata Benerjee.”

The certificate and announcement from UNESCO has been welcomed by world leaders. Donald Trump said we all should learn from Kejriwal, while Putin was flabbergasted by Kejriwal’s personality. While Hillary fell in love with Mufflar. And they all unanimously loved the way he “Coughs” in between the speech.

However, when Kejriwal was asked about the certificate he said “UNESCO certificate was not needed as I knew I am powerful, this certificate to the same amounts to trivializing the issue as it states the obvious.


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modi-cctv

Shocking: Aap Released CCTV footage Modi Dumping piles of cash at AAP MLA’s residence.


TheUnrealTimes

After maintaining a studied silence on news of an Income Tax raid at AAP MLA Kartar Singh Tanwar’s residence that reportedly unearthed Rs. 130 crore of ‘unaccounted cash’, the Aam Aadmi Party has hit back and hit back hard at the Modi government by releasing what they claim is a CCTV grab of Prime Minister Narendra Modi on his way to dump 130 crores of cash at Tanwar’s residence in order to frame him.

“Is this true? Shocking!” tweeted Arvind Kejriwal along with the picture, before being ordered by his Vipassana instructor to hand over the phone and return to his meditation session.

Kejriwal’s tweet lifted the fog of despair that hung over the Aam Aadmi Party ever since news broke about the IT raid at Tanwar’s residence. Within minutes, Raghav Chadha, Ashish Khetan, The Ashutosh and every other major AAP leader with a Twitter account who had been desperately retweeting random anti-Modi articles and tweets until then, weighed in breathlessly.

“Will Modi government go to any extent to discredit Aam Aadmi Party?” tweeted Raghav Chadha.

“Modi knows he cannot defeat honest Aam Aadmi Party politically. So he is resorting to such dirty tricks,” tweeted Ashish Khetan.

“Why is the Modi deposhitting cash at Kartar Singh Tanware’s home? Is it becaus he is scared of the Kajariwal?” tweeted The Ashutosh.

Unfortunately for AAP, other than a handful of hardcore AAPtards, no one fell for this bullshit. The consensus on social media was that the so called CCTV grab was obviously a photoshopped picture.

Later in the day, someone on Twitter even leaked the identity of the man behind the morphed image. As is their wont, a bunch of Twitter hawks promptly dug into his tweet history and discovered that the perpetrator was a disgruntled BJP photoshopper who had recently switched loyalties to AAP. The Modi government quickly swung into action, and late in the night, sleuths from Delhi police arrested the photoshopper from a suburb in West Delhi and charged him under a bunch of sections of the IPC act.


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saga

Sagarika Ghose calls Venkaiah Naidu an Idiot. We thought of showing her the reality.


Sagarika Ghose and Rajdeep Sardesai is the most hated couple of India. The presstitute duo has been on their anti national spree from quite a long time. The hate that they exhibit towards Modi and Bhartiya Janta Party is known to everyone. In the hate to Modi they sometimes start hating India as well and can’t differentiate whether it is against BJP or India.

Well all these things are known to everybody. But Sagarika Ghose did something amazing just 10 minutes back. He tweeted that Venkaiah Naidu – I&B Minister is an idiot. We can understand the pain and agony she might be going through. Afterall, it was Venkaiah Naidu the I&B Minister who imposed the ban on NDTV. Though Sagarika herself doesn’t work for NDTV but her sister from another mother Barkha works there and moreover they both, Sagarika and NDTV, share the same anti India agenda.

Today, Venkaiah Naidu said that the government was planning for this move from a long time but announcement was very sudden. The government categorically chose to announce suddenly so that the black money holders won’t get much of the time to reciprocate.

But the small brain of Sagarika Ghose doesn’t get this. She calls Venkaiah Naidu a Bumbling Idiot. That means Venkaiah Naidu was confused while he was saying.

What exactly she wanted to exhibit is “One can not plan/prepare a thing without announcement.” If you are planning a thing you ought to announce and if you don’t you are a bumbling idiot.

Modi and Indian army were also bumbling idiot when they carried out surgical strike as they did not announce it but they were preparing about it from quite some time.

Well, this is a parody account of Sagarika Ghose but we thought we also do some mockery with the parody account holder. This is a nonsense news just don’t pay heed to it.


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kejriwal-on-amanatullah

Know what AAP’s Sandeep Kumar said in court after MMS. You will die laughing.


Sandeep Kumar’s MMS is very famous now. Everybody talks about it. A complaint has been registered against Sandeep Kumar. The lady in the tape filed a complaint against Sandeep Kumar for raping her.

Now that Sandeep Kumar was taken to the court what did Sandeep Kumar said in his defense?

Sandeep Kumar said, “I am being framed in it. It was the woman who wanted to bribe me with sexual favors.”

Judge’s counter question was, “Then, why did not you say no to her? Why did you take the sexual favor?”

Sandeep Kumar came up with an epic reply which will make you laugh like anything.

He said, “It was due to our Party’s policy. Hamaare neta shri Arvind Kejriwal ji ne kaha tha, agar koi aapko rishwat dene ke liye kahe to mana mat karna. Uski video banake hame de dena. Fir dekhna uska kya haal karte hain. (My leader Mr. Arvind Kejriwal said, if someone would ask you for a bribe then don’t say no. Make the video of that one and give the video to us. We will not spare the one at all.)”

kejriwal-on-amanatullah

Disclaimer: Nonsense news, is only for fun. An exaggerated and a funny way to describe a news.


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